Pictures from Tuesday! :>

wistful.

awwwww jonathan, please marry me... -looks up with big, watery, wanting eyes-

yayness:)

ahh just returned frm dinner with rachhhie gege:D sketches was amazing..but the frosted chocolate malt at swenson's after was even BETTER. goshh it's been pretty long since i last had good chocolate icecream -slurps- (cue: it's seriously high time to hit the gym..) i had a really wonderful time confiding in rachh, no i cant seem to say rach without feeling somewhat out of character, in gege i mean haha. it really feels good to be able to tell her all these things.and thanks for confiding in me too,deary. GOSH ur cruise story's damnnn funny lah.. hee i shan't say it here or ur reputation'll DEFINITELY go down that hugee canal;) (seriously, all i can say is: POOR FRED. in caps at that haha)

all these meetups with old friends make me happy.. very, very happy.i dunno - i guess it's the sense of familiarity that they bring,which is so so very comforting amidst all this strangeness (which i still feel, yes) sometimes that strong wave of nostalgia hits me so hard when i think about them, it makes me wanna cry:'( they pull me back to me, as a person. it's not that i'm entirely different elsewhere; ahh it's probably just because i feel so damn comfortable ard them and it puts me, soul within and all,at complete peace whenever i'm with them. on that note,i'm just so thankful pongie's my roomie..the knowledge that we've had memories dating back to sec sch is comforting to me, for some odd reason.

oh yippee tmr's my offday. think i'll stay in my room and rot, which i absolutely love:D ugh and i'd better seriously get down to my readings.

heh sometimes i wish i weren't sucha pessimist. i wish i could embrace life passionately and enjoy all that it has to offer. and i think i will; i'll learn to be that person i wanna be.i need to quit looking at things from sucha narrow pt of view and take in the grandeur of it all. hah seriously, who am i kidding?

oh booo gege's leaving for (YET ANOTHER) trip to bangkok=(( gonna missss u,dearyy...

=(

life is transient.

stay strong, abby.i'm sorry. and i love you.

i've got you under my skin.

"There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout;
But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again;
If you only try turning around."

ahhh wad a day.wad a long, long day. wait, lemme recall.ah yes... i had classes throughout the day - today's lit module's seriously boring the hell outta me.i'm damn clueless about everything. think i'd better do some reading SOON. then it was back to hall to finally prop my feet up and REST. hahahahh gosh msn's damn fun when eugene's ard.he cracks me up so bad, seriously:D hee i realize all yujin-related stuff's damn hilarious to me most of the time;> hahah dunno why.maybe it's just cos' yujin's funny.

then pongie and i headed off to jurong pt for dinner! and i finally got back at 10 with dinner for poor derek.. sorry!

booo i felt so down just now, dunno why.it's weird how such stuff happens eh. they just hit you and you sink and you don't even know how it happened.hah i'm starting to ramble now. think i'd better go and get some sleep before insanity catches up with me.

(on a sidenote: goshh the saxophone part in 'hey girl''s sooooooo gd.... ahhhhh -swoons-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY:D

first things first - i wanna wish mommy a very happy birthday!!!;) hope she enjoys today. mommy: i love u!sorry if i've been a pain in the ass sometimes. (and i didn't get her anything or do anything special this yr lah..so guilty:( sorry!!)

ahh i went to bugis for fish and co. with friends yesterday!! (hahah as u might've already read abt in a previous entry NOT done up by me; gege,u seriously make me smile haha;>) it was wonderful catching up with them - haven't seen them in ages. yujin's looking.. well, as buff and tanned as ever haha.think he fits the manhunt criteria already huh;) and abu's... abu's dear old abu=)

gosh im damn tired now.. was feeling rather ill last night,dunno why. throbbing head, on/off vision and just pretty faint overall. better today, but still very beat.think it might be due to a lack of sleep, actually. late nights are becoming a norm for me now.. and i don't think it's a gd habit to keep!

heee had sucha wild time laughing over silly nothings with yanling on the bus just now.i think all this exertion's catching up with me when i stop for a breather; i feel damn lethargic after.

ugh sch's proving to be too tiring for weak ol' me. scurrying frm class to class (or rather spine to spine:<), fretting over note-printing,wondering wad the hell ive gotta complete for tutorials, worrying over stuff stuff stuffff..... AND FRENCH.gawds. heh but thank goodness i've richard to turn to for help on french.

pah i'm just very, very tired now.okies gonna stop here and finally get down to reading my text.

"Look at us baby, up all night, tearing our love apart
Weren't we the same two people who lived through years in the dark?
Every time I try to walk away,
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can't tell you why"

HAHA

i knew i shouldn't have trusted u, gege...heeheeee;)

Blessed in every sense :)

i love rach&via :)

today was really fun!! met rach, via, abu & yujin for dinner at bugis, FISH&CO.. YUMMY! i had new york's fish&chips and boy, I LOVE IT SOOO MUCH! im drooling just thinking abt it! hehehe excuse me ;) yeah, as i was saying, it tastes soooo goood, i cant believe i finished the whole serving! abu wanted me to give him a tiny piece of mine but i was like NOO WAYYY!!

haha catching up with them is really nice.. i miss all of them so much! esp yujin&abu :) they never ever fail to crack me up! im really blessed to have frens like them! (yes, rach&via too!) heard many stories from Constable Abu.. scary eh? didnt know how unsafe Spore was. guess ive always taken my safety for granted.. being the spoilt brat that i am ;> nah just kidding

anyway, aft we went over to bugis st and were supposed to go there solely to fix rach's watch! BUT we ended up shopping!! UGH yes, i spent money!!! ahhhhh :( but i guess it's worth it! bought a pair of preeetttttyyy earrings & an Anna Sui Charm Mirror necklace!! love it so much! mainly cos it's rach's and my twin necklace :) we got it at a steal la, thanks to rach =) the 2 guys were like waiting for us outside the shop etc etc.. hahaha pity them.. but that's life shopping with girls! heheheheee

phew, finally am back now. aft a lonnnngggggggg mundane journey back to hall alone. how sad can that get? i was scared out of my wits while walking into school! constantly looking behind me to check that no one, or rather, no thing was following me.. it's giving me the creeps now even as im typing abt it!

gtg bathe now.. thanks for the wonderful day once again my lovelies!

until we meet again,

sammie

phew wad a day.

today flew by fairly quickly..been an ok sorta day. after sch,sharon and i FINALLY trooped down to the centre to check out fencing classes. and,as fate might have it, classes were apparently only on on thursday... -eyes sharon- haha so we spent 30mins in the gym before heading for dinner.

yay this wk's pretty slack for me,in terms of academic timetable, that is. cos' thursday's union day!so only one tutorial on that day.. and wed's an off day! (as always) whee=D yay i'm meeting gege,via, abu and possibly yujin on wed!!can't wait to meet them, really:D miss them soooo much.

oh boo nxt fri's my final theory test already!!!i can't believe it's so soon. i've not touched the bk ever since i left it on my table=S better get down to that fast.

YAY only one lecture tmr..then it's off to the gym again! i seriously need to burn off that you zhar kway i had on geylang last fri on supper night with hallmates.. OH i ate frog for the veryy first time that night too! gosh i was kinda grossed out cos' images of brutally savaged frogs kept popping up in mind; but otherwise,i think it tastes pretty much like a cross between fish and chicken.not my favourite kind of meat, though.

ugh gotta memorize the beginning part of the prologue for canterbury tales.goshh i don't think i'll ever be able to do it; hah it's almost an impossibility.

"I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?"

I LOVE RACH SOOOOOO MUCH:D hee

"REMINDER: BLOG BOUT RACH"
haha imagine how much gladness i felt when this msg came in.. that all too familiar (and endearing too!!!) violence -winks- amidst all the strangeness surrounding me these days; it really did make me smile.thanks gege - you've truly been the most spontaneous thing in my life:) and i love u so much!

today went ok, i guess.the morning's tutorial was great cos' i met some really lovely people=) really genuine and lovely dears. the lecture which came up next was not so good,though. i was haplessly lost throughout, and struggling to keep awake at that.then tutorial after that and it was end of the day. phew.-slumps into chair- i'm so tired. ugh some ppl gross me out with their hypocrisy.well... there's nothing i can do so i'll try to look forward to the positive things in my life instead of brooding over stuff hardly worth my time.

oh yes yesterday was welcome night! some hall thingy..hall 11 went iceskating last night;D hee it was reaallly fun.didn't know i could actually skate. and sharon and i were like on a sugar high or smth. haha or maybe it was cos' richard (the one who reminds me of yujin!hee) cracked us up so bad;we couldn't stop laughing the entire night! after that we went for supper, and finally got back at ard 230am gosh. oh on a sidenote, i'd like to congratulate pongieeee;) for finally getting stuff sorted out.i hope u have peace of mind now, deary. live life without restraint or hesitation ok? (haha how odd this is coming frm me..hmm)

right,gonna stop here and go shower!

(sighs it's times like these that i realize how (very,very, verryyyy) much my friends and family mean to me.. i miss all of them soooooooo much.pah it's crazy how much i do)

:)

"goodnight. i really do love you. if i ever get lost, i know i'll find my way home because of you and few other people who i love."

when one deary made my day..=) thanks love. i appreciate you so much, it's impossible to put into words.hugs tight

work it, babyyy;)

ahhh just returned from the gym with ashton and weekiat.it was great! haha glad there's a gym within reasonable reach..at least now i feel just a lil' bit less guilty when bingeing out. hah outside's so noisy now - i suspect my entire block's nocturnal.

well,today was quite a gd day i guess. had a lecture in the afternoon and that was it!whee:D then yanling and i went for this hss thingy at the student lounge and we ended up running for a coupla posts.. nothing too significant,though. oh i cancelled on sharon for gym!so guilty lah.... heh nvm will make it up again sometime!

damn i have quite some reading to do... needa finally get my texts out of their shrink wraps and START reading them haha. ugh and then i'll have to start figuring out wad to prepare for tutorials.thursday's back-to-back tutorials for FOUR hours=( think i'd better give myself at least half an hr before each tutorial to get lost while finding my way ard myself, given my barely there sense of direction heh. oh but tmr's a free day yayyayyay.

OH goshh yday was mad mad madness in the library. i went crazyyy trying to get stuff to print.had to run up and down,down and up. argh it was just maniacal waiting there for that old,hobbly wobbly printer to crank out my notes. thank goodness for wanping and alicia,really. or i'd have probably dissolved into a crying mess beside the printer.

OH OH i had my first french class yesterday!!all interest and excitement aside, i found it extremely frustrating to have to start learning something i have ZILCH knowledge of. (well,besides moi, c'est la vie and bonjour!) picking up a new language like this is really not easy man..and im kinda regretting my decision to take french since all this work will probably have to count towards my final grade.imagine my horror when our tutor told us we'll have lots of essay writing this semester,which'll then count towards our grade! well wad to do?jus gotta give my best now.

i feel like i get less sappy on myself when i'm in hall.haha i dunno why.. maybe it's cos' i don't feel completely at home? or maybe it's cos' i have someone (someone i can talk to about stuff; cos' i stay home with my family but there're stuff they won't understand anyway) staying with me so i don't get to feel all that lonely.heh think it's better.. i guess. though, in a sickening sort of way,i do enjoy getting all melancholic on myself sometimes.hah dunno why.

boo it's 10:23pm and pongie's not back frm her pageant rehearsals yet.. she said she'll probably be back only at ard 12plus anyway.ahhh thank goodness for pongie=D it's nice having a roomie u can pour stuff out to. (or in this case,have her pour stuff out to me;>) haha i'm glad she doesn't mind confiding in me;gives her an outlet for all her frustrations. that way she probably feels better i hope..think things will work out fine for her.

well,i think it's best i hit the shower soon..

Bonne nuit!

ooh retail therapy=D

gosh im beat... hee just returned from a shopping spree at tampines mall with yati!she's our maid and since she'll be returning to indonesia nxt wk, i thought it'll be great to bring her out. goodness i didn't even expect to spend any!haha looks like these goals are never meant to be anyway. but im veryyy happy with everything i've gotten!!whee:D it's even better cos' mom's paying haha;)

well anyway,i was just reading my previous entry and now i feel like a complete bozo.haha don't even know wad's upsetting me so much.. well maybe i do, but it isn't anything too significant.at least i think so. so.. guess it's probably just one of those sudden spurts of melancholy again.

well anyhow,i met up with gla yday:D wooo meeting up with her is always always therapeutic and unbelievably stress-relieving.thanks for just being there,sis. and yay i'll probably be meeting up with her again nxt sat!!!=D

right, gonna end here...gotta go pack for later when i leave for hall again!

And she said, "We're all just prisoners here, of our own device."

what an odd feeling.i dunno.. it feels like i'm suspended in midair, or rather mid-hemisphere, between certainty and the great beyond. i'm referring to my life.heh i don't feel like my feet are touching ground (not literally,obviously). there're so many questions going on in my lil' pathetic self-inflicting mind..gosh what the hell am i blabbering on about anyway? ahh it's 115 in the morning and thoughts, those buried beneath layers of consciousness in the day, are coming at me yet again.they always do,anyhow. pah

How they dance in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget.

enchant me...

y'know, sometimes i wonder where or what my life's heading for. what am i aiming for?my purpose..goal? gosh when i really do sit down and think about it, i have to honestly say i have no idea. i guess i'm just letting things take their natural course and see where they lead me.the future holds sooooo many uncertainties.. well,in a way it is intriguing.. but to me,it's also kinda terrifying. haha sometimes i can't believe i'm in uni already.i mean... i'm... gosh it's like a whole new phase; it's almost like coming-of-age.maybe it is.. ah it's quite scary actually haha.heh ok i think i should stop thinking so much; stop bothering myself with so much unnecessary worrying.at the moment, at least.

well anyway,these few days have been pretty hectic. so much planning, mental sketching,remembering, forgetting, following,listening, understanding etc etc. a mad flurry of things going on in my mind all at once.i haven't gotten the texts required for my module yet.. but at least i've finally managed to come up with that list of books i need to buy.thanks to sharon, who's ever so helpful:)

aw i regret not going to that cca fair held recently.. should've gone through it more purposefully.boo gonna find it tough to sign up for anything now. oh but i might be trying out fencing on monday with sharon!! (hah another sharon - so many sharons in uni haha)hee can't wait to try fencing out; looks pretty cool (esp since jonathan's a national fencer eh;>)

oh i met rach and via for dinner just now!! the girls were awesome company(via's ever so sweeet/lovely and rachh is well... gege haha:>) and we nearly killed ourselves laughing over super hilarious jc reminiscences;) anyway, we went to this turkish place at far east; my goodness the chicken donor rice (i think!) is to-die-for:D -smacks lips- it's sooooo good... with chili! hahah i need to be put on a diet PRONTO. been doing suppers and carbo like nobody's business of late.somebody help this fatty.

ahh the sound of saxophone rocks soooo much... =) mm my favourite sounds are from the saxophone and the guitar(esp electric) ...ooh.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you.

whoever said life was a bed of roses anyway?

ooh tanya chua's version of "yellow" is soooo good.. relaxing. boo i dunno why, but i'm actually feeling quite down.heh it's really odd cos i can't, for the life of me,figure out why. i'm just feeling pretty sad and... well...just that.

gosh today's been pretty hectic,what with all the running around campus looking for damned LT 9. haha thank goodness for yanling,this girl i just got to know in the same course.. without her surprisingly acute map-reading skills (albeit limited haha),i think we'd have found ourselves on a wild goose chase all over ntu.

ahh i think i'm quite enjoying my hall stay so far.my hall mates are really very nice people and i can't describe in words how glad i am for that:D well, pongie and i might be catching the lake house with her hall friends.. hee i'm hoping to find someone to tag along too!and yes, i'm finally gonna watch the lake house! whee can't waiitty waitt;)

OH YES i met rachie gege just now!!!!!!!!i was sooo excited when i saw her!!!! miss her like hell..it's been 2wks since we met haha. anyhoo,we dinnered at the foodcourt before venturing the unbelievably boring grounds of whitesands. (well,at least it's familiar!)

wahhh im damn stressed now.uni life's all about independence and i'm so used to reliance on other people all my life! yes i know i know..what a baby right? gosh i'm getting my just deserts now.i'm having a crazy time figuring out how the curriculum works, how to book additional classes, which classes i should opt for, what requirements do i need to ensure that i successfully graduate, what texts do i need, what notes do i need to print yadayada blahblahblah... -roars and clenches hair- and not forgetting my near non-existent driving lessons, upcoming final theory test and that dental appt i NEED to postpone....boo. ok relax....

ahh i wanna meet so many people now..to catch up! i miss them all so much..gla,joanie, gen,nat, tian,rach, abby...

"Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know,
For you, I'd bleed myself dry.

For you, I'd bleed myself dry."

I"M BACK!

-slumps into chair- ahhh camp's over! it was fun:D we had fright night yesterday night, the last night of camp.i was scared SHITLESS of everything. hee thank goodness for my heroic partner really..or i'd probably have died right there and then. gosh but the actors were reaalllyyyy gooood!!!haha was really fun in all.

ugh i'm still trying really hard to swallow the fact that school's starting soon=( it's unbelievable... the way so much time have flown by just like that.i'm sooo not ready for assignments, rushing to meet deadlines,projects, lectures and studying! yuck.and i'm definitely getting lost on the first day.. the place's so big!and everything's everywhere gosh.

OH YES i've got cable for my internet connection!!many many thanks to pongie:) still need her senior to work the configuration for my account, though.

i think this sudden hectic rush of activities did good for me.. a break from the routine monotony i've been facing for the past 8months. i feel alive again..literally haha. but i'll definitely miss my slack, worry-free,no strings attached days soooooo much.

righty right,gonna end here! (on a sidenote: ooh i love my house,jazz and my family so much!! haha bonkers eh)

self-declared rest day!

ahhhhhh -stretches out and groans in pain- my muscles are aching ALL OVER. yesterday was orientation day 2 and it's been pretty tiring.. for me at least.hah pongie and i skipped today's programme to come home and get some much deserved rest!! but thankfully, hall 11's people are really warm. my group members are all very nice people and easy to get along with,and i'm glad.

haha and oddly enough,i find so many people familiar.there's this girl who really reminds me of someone.. i can't put my finger on who she reminds me of yet,though. and this guy who's like a replica of yujin!hee;) it's uncanny.. but it's really good cos it feels like yujin's there,hidden somewhere.. and it brings back a bit of familiarity haha.

pongie's been an amazing room-mate and we've taken to pouring out our dark secrets, little by little each night;) hahha good to have someone there to talk to. oh and thankfully, the room's not too stuffy!infact, it's been rather chilly these past 2 nights.. which is good cos it feels like aircon!!

ooh my mom & dad just got me a laptop!whee:D i love them. haha not just cos of the laptop lah..but really thankful for my family, for being there and helping me with the moving:)

gotta go to the bank for some stupid giro thingy now!